We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
