I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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