Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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