oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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