Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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