I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
