Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
