I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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