when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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