kristin has been a bad kristin
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
