Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
