You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
