she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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