i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
