Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
