Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
