i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sorry about my life...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
