You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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