You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
