I bet he comes in French.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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