I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Im part way to drunk.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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