She said her name was "party"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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