Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
