Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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