somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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