i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
