So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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