there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
