He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
