okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
