I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
