I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
