She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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