another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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