i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
