Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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