We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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