I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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