I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
