This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize