i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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