Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
