Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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