I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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