Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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