And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
