Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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