Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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