so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
