dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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