sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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