is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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