We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Let's paint friendship bongs
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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