walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
