it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
