do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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