so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
