do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Houston, we have a squirter
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
