Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize