Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i drank out of a bidet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
