you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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